Tuesday 3 May 2011

Who would live in a house like this?

So, Osama Bin Laden is dead. About time too. It's only been at least nine and a half years since he was put at the top of the World's Most Wanted list after killing thousands. Apparently he wasn't even holed up in some cave, hidden away, somewhere in the Afghan or Pakistan mountains either. He was living it up in a mansion with his four wives, his maids and a couple of buddies, getting his papers delivered everyday, probably having a great time. All the while, just around the corner, the Pakistan Military Academy stood, it's recruits and generals toiling away in their fight against terror.
Did nobody in that Academy know that they were living next door to the World's Most Wanted? Very suspicious. Even more embarrassing is the fact that a bunch of American troops were in the Academy, on a training program, as little as two years ago.
Would one of the troops or recruits not have thought to say anything, after dodging out the back for a sneaky cigarette, after spotting Bin Laden playing swing ball in his backyard or hanging his y-fronts on the washing line?
An American General probably stood out on a balcony on the back of the Military Academy late one night, munching a fat cigar, glaring out over the Pakistan town. As he looked out over the darkening desert landscape he'd be grimly muttering, "Where could he be?", failing to notice the one house surrounded by 12ft walls not 1km away from him.
No doubt there'll be a statement from the Americans saying they knew he was there all along and were simply carrying out a secret mission, of some sort, to confirm the Al Qaeda leader's whereabouts.
The 12ft walls surrounding Bin Laden's compound must have been great for keeping out the neighbours though.
But this also begs the question of, did nobody think it was suspicious that this one mansion, the biggest residence in the whole of the town, had 12ft walls surrounding it complete with a lining of silvery, glinting barbed wire, large security gates and a small collection of satellite dishes and CCTV cameras, whirring around? Was nobody even curious as to who lived there? Nobody thought to go round for a cup of sugar or with a basket of muffins?
And why are people calling it a mansion? It looks abysmal. There's not even a swimming pool and it's in serious need of a good coat of paint at the very least. Perhaps the word mansion has a different meaning over there?
Apparently it was valued at $1 million. Who the hell was the estate agent? Doctor Evil?

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