The naked neighbour's doors and ironing boards

There's some action in the block tonight as raised voices echo throughout the close outside. The guy downstairs, or the naked neighbour, as he was described in a previous post, has had many a female 'visitor' over the years. Many of them generally not giving much away except the noise of their heels echoing in the stone close. Tonight, however, one of them is going mental downstairs. Shouting and cursing at a male, presumably the naked neighbour himself, her ned like voice screeching and squawking. Ka and myself are, of course, up against the front door listening in as she yells at the foot of the stairs outside. Not that we revel in the goings on of our neighbours' lives. We were merely a little intrigued by the loud commotion... (nothing is on the telly). A few moments ago, however, he asked her to lower her voice which, of course, it being a woman and all, had the opposite effect and made her screech even louder. She was then, from what we could hear, deliberately muffled and pulled back into his flat, where the argument goes on as I write. These things are so much more interesting when it's somebody else.
We're just back from Uddingston, where we welcomed the future In-laws, Dougie and Grace, home with one of Ka's beautiful lasagnes. Unfortunately, on Saturday night, Grace fell in their hotel in Salou and fractured her foot which ended up with the pair of them having to make a visit to the local hospital. Fortunately they were able to get a good, temporary covering over it until an operation back home, which will hopefully happen in the next few days. So now Grace is hopping around on one foot, the left foot being in giant bandage form, with Colin and Dougie acting as crutches for navigating the house. Not a great thing to happen nine weeks before her daughter's wedding.
Other exciting news is that we got a new ironing board yesterday (yes, this is, as good as it gets!). We lost our ironing board around two weeks ago in a tragic ironing board guitar playing incident and had to say a fond farewell (I think it was 'Crosstown Traffic' I had been playing). Anyway, on taking our ironing board down to the bins I discovered another, sad looking, neglected board covered in cobwebs propped up against a wall, behind one of the wheelie bins. Feeling sorry for it I decided to give it a new home and brought it upstairs as a replacement to our dilapidated old one (which I set fire to later as a sacrifice to the ironing board playing god whilst high on old Easter chocolate and Jack Daniels). Unfortunately, however, after using this old board for a few days I discovered it was growing lumps and after a few irons felt like I was ironing shirts on a cobbled path. It was no good and also had to be disposed of. I suspect it was probably the naked neighbour downstairs' board. He also has other things lying about the close outside and around his front door and the wheelie bin shed. An old lamp stand sits outside his door together with an old, golf bag, ripped and torn and an old front door lying on it's side. All cloaked in a thick layer of dust. The old front door lying on it's side outside the naked neighbour's flat was most probably from his last war from one of his other former girlfriends. Maybe he'd wanted to go golfing and asked her to iron her shirt to which she threw a lamp at him and stormed out the flat slamming the front door behind her, which came away from it's hinges and collapsed to the ground in a cloud of dust. Sometimes I'm not sure why the naked neighbour bothered to get a new front door as he often goes out during the day leaving it wide open. Before heading to the shops yesterday for our shop, and a new ironing board, I took some rubbish downstairs and was surprised to see the naked neighbour's entire hallway, lying open before me. Clothes horse, hoover and drying washing all perfectly visible complete with a semi new looking ironing board propped up against his wall. How easy it would have been to nick. Being too honest for that kind of behaviour (or boring) I carried on, in my way to the bins and then on to the shops, for my food and the new ironing board.