Word floundering and inflated condoms

Yesterday I strolled into work to find everyone looking at me. Unknown to everyone, my desk just happened to be over in planning this week, as cheery Cameron is off on holiday, so as I sat down over in the planning area I felt eyes on me. Rather disturbed by the staring I asked the office why they were looking at me and as I did so turned to see my usual desk and chair covered in banners, streamers, a wedding helium balloon and a number of inflated condoms. Later in the day I was talking on the phone to Ka and did not even realise everyone milling up the office towards me and surrounding me before. With a heavy tap on the shoulder by the boss, David I was then taken up to the floor and forced to make a speech, accepting presents and bottles of various sizes and content, some of rather questionable content. To tell the truth I was rather surprised by the generosity of my colleagues at S&UN. A digital photo frame, a set of glasses, a bottle of sparkling red, a bottle of brut champagne, a bottle of Asda's Blue Charge (an energy drink apparently), a box of energy capsules, a box of paracetamol and a bottle of durex tingle gel. I'm sure what you can guess the energy products were for as well as the tingle gel. After my rather awful acceptance speech, which ended up sounding like a leaving speech, I sat at my desk for the rest of the day, inflated condoms bouncing around my head, and began thinking about speech preperation and how I should probably prepare something for Saturday. All this time I had not planned on writing out cards and reading from papers and such like but after my word floundering yesterday, it may well be a good idea.
Sitting at my desk now counting down the minutes. In a few hours I'll be stopping work for over two weeks. Fantastic. It'll be a busy holiday, of course, but it will be great to get out of the office for a break.